Women............

Women, why can they be so confusing? Can't wait to hear the responses. Also, most embarrassing moments (for the brave posters).

I'll kick this off. Most embarrassing moment- one was asking a girl I went to a dance with in high school (this was a few yrs after HS) when she was due.
The very flat reply in monotone was "I'm not pregnant."
I'm sure I was bright red at that time and could only say "well, good talkin to ya."

HAHAHAHA I have a good one an keep in mind I was a very young man and not proud of this.

Ok so after breaking up with my high school girlfriend that I had been with for about 8 years. I was having a hard time getting back into the dating scene. So I decided to do the phone dating thing. It was before the internet dating took off.

Anyway I started talking to this girl and we seemed to hit it off. We talked for a about a month. One day she tells me that her parents were making her move out and she was going to have to move to Washington. So I figured what the hell I had been looking for a roommate to help pay for my apartment anyway.

So we talked about it for a few days an decided that I would borrow my moms van and come get her and her stuff and she could move into my apartment in Layton. You have to understand here that I had never seen her before again before the internet was common. I only had her description to go on. It sounded great. Red hair and big boobs.

So my little brother drives me in my moms van to Lehi on a Saturday to get her and all of her stuff. We made the hour drive out there and get to her house. We pull up and I open the sliding door of the van an go up to the house. All of her family was there to see her off. Her Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sisters.

So as I walk in I see she has all her stuff out in the living room and was ready to go. I say my hellos to her family and her mom say's she's just about ready I'll go get her. I started to get excited. Her mom comes back in with her in tow.

I swear to god she had to be at least 350lbs. She was right about the big boobs and red hair. Nice big red curly afro and her boobs were huge. Unfortunately they were much smaller than her stomach. I can't imagine what look I must have had on my face.

I say hello and tell her I was going to go get my brother to help me carry her things into the van. I walk out side get about half way to the van and break into a dead sprint. As I dive into he open sliding door of the van I'm screaming at my brother FN DRIVE MAN JUST DRIVE. So he floors it out of the driveway tires smoking. We drove home in silence. That was like 15 years ago, but we still laugh about it every time it's brought up.

I actually felt really bad about it for a long time. I can just imagine the girls face and the look on her familys face. She should have probably been a little more descriptive and I shouldn't have been trying to meet girls over the phone! Like I said keep in mind I was very young and immature.

I actually have a lot of funny stories about girls. I was single for like 9 years between my high school GF and my wife. Single, but very active!

Romoholic wrote:

HAHAHAHA I have a good one an keep in mind I was a very young man and not proud of this.

Ok so after breaking up with my high school girlfriend that I had been with for about 8 years. I was having a hard time getting back into the dating scene. So I decided to do the phone dating thing. It was before the internet dating took off.

Anyway I started talking to this girl and we seemed to hit it off. We talked for a about a month. One day she tells me that her parents were making her move out and she was going to have to move to Washington. So I figured what the hell I had been looking for a roommate to help pay for my apartment anyway.

So we talked about it for a few days an decided that I would borrow my moms van and come get her and her stuff and she could move into my apartment in Layton. You have to understand here that I had never seen her before again before the internet was common. I only had her description to go on. It sounded great. Red hair and big boobs.

So my little brother drives me in my moms van to Lehi on a Saturday to get her and all of her stuff. We made the hour drive out there and get to her house. We pull up and I open the sliding door of the van an go up to the house. All of her family was there to see her off. Her Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sisters.

So as I walk in I see she has all her stuff out in the living room and was ready to go. I say my hellos to her family and her mom say's she's just about ready I'll go get her. I started to get excited. Her mom comes back in with her in tow.

I swear to god she had to be at least 350lbs. She was right about the big boobs and red hair. Nice big red curly afro and her boobs were huge. Unfortunately they were much smaller than her stomach. I can't imagine what look I must have had on my face.

I say hello and tell her I was going to go get my brother to help me carry her things into the van. I walk out side get about half way to the van and break into a dead sprint. As I dive into he open sliding door of the van I'm screaming at my brother FN DRIVE MAN JUST DRIVE. So he floors it out of the driveway tires smoking. We drove home in silence. That was like 15 years ago, but we still laugh about it every time it's brought up.

I actually felt really bad about it for a long time. I can just imagine the girls face and the look on her familys face. She should have probably been a little more descriptive and I shouldn't have been trying to meet girls over the phone! Like I said keep in mind I was very young and immature.

I actually have a lot of funny stories about girls. I was single for like 9 years between my high school GF and my wife. Single, but very active!

Dude, that is one of the funniest stories I have heard in a while. I feel kind of bad for the gal, but man that made me laugh.

First of all, let me preface this post by saying that I am unlike most women, and I'm sure Romo will vouch for me. After all, it did take him almost 30 years before he got married the first time, and yes, he was living in the land of Utards most of the time he was of legal marrying age.

I, for one, can tell you why I personally am confusing. Call it Adult ADHD, call it randomness, but I usually have several (no less than seven at any given time) thoughts circling around in my head. So I will start talking about one subject, and without warning, jump to the next, then the next. But fear not! It always ends up tying back to the first topic...somehow.

Now...my embarrassing moment. Your fearless forum creator and I had been married about 4 years, and we had just signed up for new T-Mobile phones. You know, the ones with the ones with My Faves, where you had 5 people you could assign as your "faves," and their pictures/icons would populate on your home screen? Anyway, I had my dear husband's icon right next to my mother's icon. The reason why this is important will all make perfect sense later in the story (keep up, son!).

Romoholic was working graves, and I was working days, so we didn't have a lot of time together. On a whim, I decided to take a "naughty" picture with my phone and send it to him while he was at work. In theory, this was a great idea...not so much in practice.

After several attempts to position my Pink Motorola RazR to snap the perfect pic, I finally got one that wasn't too dark, wasn't blurry, and had a full-on view. It was time to send.

After sending the picture, I waited anxiously for a reply...but it never came. So, I picked up my phone to see if the sending had failed. Yes, it did...but not how you would think. I had pushed the button to toggle between my My Faves icons too hard or too many times, or God was punishing me for sending naughty pictures, but to my dismay, I found that I had sent the picture not to my husband, but to my mother. I was HORRIFIED.

I quickly sent her an apologetic text message, telling her that someone that I didn't know had accidentally sent the picture to me and instead of deleting it, I accidentally forwarded it to her. She seemed to have bought it, but to this day, I wonder if she really did, or if she just acted like she did to make it less awkward for us both.

You know everyones imagination took off with that one... about the pic angle.
Good ones, and yeah Romo, if she wasn't forthcoming with the rest of the package then it's not like you left her at the alter.
So, another embarrassing time:
I was into this girl a few yrs ago. She was trim, nice twins, smart, and mostly a no drama type.
We went over to her brothers for his birthday. Her parents and Uncle were there as well. Mind you, this family was affluent. The Bro had a huge successful business and million dollar home... Anyway, I wasn't intimidated but just wanted to be liked and make a good first impression.
Her Uncle works at the plant in North SLC. You know the one where it smells like fart on I15 when you pass it... So I asked her Uncle what he does for a living and he tells me about the plant. I don't know what I was thinking but I said "the one that stinks close to I15, do you ever get used to the smell?"
Anyway, I think he was shocked a little by my question. The girl just looked down- not believing I asked such a tackless question.... I couldn't believe it either. It was one of those moments suspended in time when I think back to it... A few yrs later when I think of that I still crindge.

aliveandkickin wrote:

You know everyones imagination took off with that one... about the pic angle.
Good ones, and yeah Romo, if she wasn't forthcoming with the rest of the package then it's not like you left her at the alter.
So, another embarrassing time:
I was into this girl a few yrs ago. She was trim, nice twins, smart, and mostly a no drama type.
We went over to her brothers for his birthday. Her parents and Uncle were there as well. Mind you, this family was affluent. The Bro had a huge successful business and million dollar home... Anyway, I wasn't intimidated but just wanted to be liked and make a good first impression.
Her Uncle works at the plant in North SLC. You know the one where it smells like fart on I15 when you pass it... So I asked her Uncle what he does for a living and he tells me about the plant. I don't know what I was thinking but I said "the one that stinks close to I15, do you ever get used to the smell?"
Anyway, I think he was shocked a little by my question. The girl just looked down- not believing I asked such a tackless question.... I couldn't believe it either. It was one of those moments suspended in time when I think back to it... A few yrs later when I think of that I still crindge.

Well whatever your imagination came up with. It was exactly what you were thinking it was Yes a perfectly clear shot of the baby escape hatch!

But about your story. That's hilarious because I'm sure the guy came home everyday and tried to scrub the smell away. My cousin's father in law drives a garbage truck and no matter how hard he tries he can't get rid of the smell. He said he has never gotten used to it and he has been doing it for 30 years.

Nothing wrong with honest, hard work! I finished drywall for over a decade and always went home dusty and dirty... Still , a lot of satisfaction comes with a job well done.
Still can't believe I asked that....

I have so many embarrassing stories.
Let's see....where to start.

The Voice of Reason wrote:

I have so many embarrassing stories.
Let's see....where to start.

We're waiting

CupcakeSugarSprinkles wrote:

I quickly sent her an apologetic text message, telling her that someone that I didn't know had accidentally sent the picture to me and instead of deleting it, I accidentally forwarded it to her. She seemed to have bought it, but to this day, I wonder if she really did, or if she just acted like she did to make it less awkward for us both.

Hilarious story...at least you didn't send it to your dad, brother, or other male in the family.

shelley_utahjazzfan wrote:

CupcakeSugarSprinkles wrote:

I quickly sent her an apologetic text message, telling her that someone that I didn't know had accidentally sent the picture to me and instead of deleting it, I accidentally forwarded it to her. She seemed to have bought it, but to this day, I wonder if she really did, or if she just acted like she did to make it less awkward for us both.

Hilarious story...at least you didn't send it to your dad, brother, or other male in the family.

Shel, do share your most embarrassing experience with a woman. As graphic as you like, we're all grown up here.

Trollificus wrote:

shelley_utahjazzfan wrote:

CupcakeSugarSprinkles wrote:

I quickly sent her an apologetic text message, telling her that someone that I didn't know had accidentally sent the picture to me and instead of deleting it, I accidentally forwarded it to her. She seemed to have bought it, but to this day, I wonder if she really did, or if she just acted like she did to make it less awkward for us both.

Hilarious story...at least you didn't send it to your dad, brother, or other male in the family.

Shel, do share your most embarrassing experience with a woman. As graphic as you like, we're all grown up here.

Troll you ass monkey! What took you so long?

Trollificus wrote:

Shel, do share your most embarrassing experience with a woman. As graphic as you like, we're all grown up here.

Uhh well there was that time when a friend was giving me back massage and she started massaging my ass. Her boyfriend was like, "what are you doing?" and she was like, "the ass ain't an erogenous zone." It was really awkward but no one disagreed and I didn't have an argument I wanted to share with the group, so I just let her finish the massage.

Been busy. etc...

This is a nice format. Says "powered by iLivid" but it looks like vBulletin software...

shelley_utahjazzfan wrote:

Trollificus wrote:

Shel, do share your most embarrassing experience with a woman. As graphic as you like, we're all grown up here.

Uhh well there was that time when a friend was giving me back massage and she started massaging my ass. Her boyfriend was like, "what are you doing?" and she was like, "the ass ain't an erogenous zone." It was really awkward but no one disagreed and I didn't have an argument I wanted to share with the group, so I just let her finish the massage.

Well, thank you very much.

As for your friends' assessment (lol) of what constitutes an erogenous zone...well...umm...I am at a loss for words. Actually (as you might expect) that isn't true. More accurately, I am at a loss for acceptable words.

Trollificus wrote:

Been busy. etc...

This is a nice format. Says "powered by iLivid" but it looks like vBulletin software...

Yeah that's what I was going for

This seems appropriate since my "Menz...." thread didn't go through.

shelley_utahjazzfan wrote:

Trollificus wrote:

Shel, do share your most embarrassing experience with a woman. As graphic as you like, we're all grown up here.

Uhh well there was that time when a friend was giving me back massage and she started massaging my ass. Her boyfriend was like, "what are you doing?" and she was like, "the ass ain't an erogenous zone." It was really awkward but no one disagreed and I didn't have an argument I wanted to share with the group, so I just let her finish the massage.

I got a completely platonic butt massage from a dude once, you just let me know troll and I'll tell you the whole story....

TheMagnus wrote:

I got a completely platonic butt massage from a dude once, you just let me know troll and I'll tell you the whole story....

You are a huge B-R-A-T but

That's a good post!

So onward and , upward, yeah definitely upward.
This was five years ago. Met this woman and had a great night dancing- then going to the park with a quilt. It was one of those nights when the stars were out, the music still in our heads, and everything fell in it's proper place (not a ephemism haha). Second date, she insisted on paying at an upscale restaurant (no qualms with that from me) then had a nice evening talking. Then came the third date. We met at the Gateway, did a little window shopping and people watching. then ate at Happy Sumos. Problem was, at the end I realized I left my wallet in the jeep. Like a trooper she paid but I saw her unpleasant face. After walking her to her car and telling her I want to transfer her the money she gamely said not to worry about it.
So, that was the last date with her. She ended up paying for the last two dates- which was about $100 dollars total. She didn't return my phone calls so after two I just wrote it up to experience. ALWAYS make sure you have your wallet.

Feel free to expand the threads subject matter to great dates, or, how you met your spouse or bf/gf.

Here's a great date: Last night went to eat at the Blue Iguana, then saw Mice and Men at the opera. I think I'm falling in love with this woman but it's still to early to tell- only six dates so far. While talking in my Wrangler she really opens up- telling me things I didn't expect from her- things personal and confidential. She started crying while telling me. I told her thanks for trusting me with somethng that she wasn't proud of -and that her wanting to have complete openness was unique and flattering to me... Pretty excited about this classy and beautiful woman.

There's my warm and fuzzy for ya'll. BTW, she's more into the arts than sports- which is normal but I'm not sure the extent she knows about of my love for the Jazz. On the bright side, I didn't check the Jazz/Spurs game three score at intermission in the restroom... Or is that a good thing? (insert uncomfortable laugh here).

BTW Magnus, as long as you didn't get wood it was platonic

aliveandkickin wrote:

BTW Magnus, as long as you didn't get wood it was platonic

aliveandkickin wrote:

BTW Magnus, as long as you didn't get wood it was platonic

Oh my!

aliveandkickin wrote:

saw Mice and Men at the opera.

That's a weird combo.