National "Coming Out Day"

Great article on being homosexual in professional sports...

http://espn.go.com/blog/truehoop/post/_/id/50261/coming-out-in-the-nba

I've often speculated on who the first NBA player to "come out" would be...

I also think that this is really at the heart of the issue when it comes to sports and homosexuality...

Kevin Arnovitz wrote:

In addition to all that, there’s your inner life, which might be even more oppressive than the public displays of hate, name-calling and ridicule. Sometimes the fear of what isn’t being said is more terrifying than the stuff that’s being said aloud.

I’ve spent a fair amount of time inside NBA locker rooms postgame. What is it like being in the locker room as a gay reporter? What goes through my mind as half-dressed athletes stand at their lockers? These are other questions I get asked by a fair number of people, gay and straight.

My sexual identity doesn’t even cross my mind. At 10:30 p.m. with a digital recorder in hand and a deadline looming, I’m like all the other writers -- crowded around the locker of the player I need a quote from, eager for him to hurry up and get dressed so I can write my story and get some dinner before all the restaurants in town are closed.

But every so often, I’ll experience a momentary, private cringe of panic. Almost all of those reporters and many of those players know I’m gay. This is a locker room, and there are half-naked and naked men around. My mind is full of basketball, X’s and O’s, and the editor back on the East Coast who’s up late waiting for my story. But am I freaking anybody out? Do people think I’m here to leer?

It is a little mortifying to imagine anybody bringing it up. And I’m in a locker room for 20 minutes now and again -- and never, say, in the showers. Now imagine being gay as a player on the team. That concern would loom over everything.

It's the way we oversexualize everything in our society, that's what makes this whole issue so difficult.

It was after he retired, but former Jazzman (and possibly the worst FA pick-up in Jazz history) John Amaechi came out and admitted to being gay.

I don't really see the issue. This isn't a political type of forum, so I'm not going to go in detail. I just don't see why being a gay player is an issue.

I've been hit on by guy a couple times ... didn't offend me at all. I'd even go as far as to say it's a bit flattering. Hell, one time I even got some free food from a vendor at a Jazz game that was obviously gay and seeing if I would respond.

I'm a little worried about the kinds of responses this thread could bring up, but it's a nice change of pace, so I'm glad you posted it Mags.

zero24gravity wrote:

It was after he retired, but former Jazzman (and possibly the worst FA pick-up in Jazz history) John Amaechi came out and admitted to being gay.

I don't really see the issue. This isn't a political type of forum, so I'm not going to go in detail. I just don't see why being a gay player is an issue.

I've been hit on by guy a couple times ... didn't offend me at all. I'd even go as far as to say it's a bit flattering. Hell, one time I even got some free food from a vendor at a Jazz game that was obviously gay and seeing if I would respond.

I'm a little worried about the kinds of responses this thread could bring up, but it's a nice change of pace, so I'm glad you posted it Mags.

Ya, but this is a sports forum, and this is a sports issue, hopefully people keep it cool, I believe they will.

That was my point though, Arnovitz is a professional journalist and openly homosexual, he's dealt with this his whole life, and he admits that there are times when it still freaks him out to think of what other people are thinking... wondering if people think he's "leering".

That's why I said that I think oversexualization of everything is the real root of this problem in America. In our Judeo-Christian frame of moral reference nudity=sex, or at least nudity=>sex. That is where people almost instinctively go. On top of that we instinctively feel a different type of intimacy with a person who we know there can and will be no sexual attraction. So when you are talking about an openly gay athlete, it is basically the same as talking about having a co-ed team environment.

That is why I think his re-framing of the question in the article was so important. When will it happen? is the wrong question. (though I'll admit it is the most interesting one)

How do we get there? I think is a better one, but...

Where do we need to go? Is, I think, the first one that we should ask. Because this isn't just about bigotry or intolerance, it's about basic fundamental values that have been ingrained in us since we were born, and about traditions and practices that still have a place in our society. We can't just act like everybody should be ok with it, and that a gay person should be treated the same in a uni-sexual team environment as everybody else or else it's everybody else's problem.

How do we get there? When will we get there? I think the how is constantly being shown by openly gay people, and advocates, as we see in other areas like same-sex marriage laws and gay-pride rallies. If that becomes mainstream in every state then it'll be easier for an athlete to accept a gay teammate.
Like you alluded, the problem, if you're gay, are fundamental values as well- values taught from most mainstream religions which represent the highest population against an issue... Talk about being out-numbered. CAN we get there with the vast majority of ppl against homosexuality is the pertinent question as much as how can we get there.
Frankly I doubt it'll be in my lifetime or my great great great grandkids lifetime (if I have any) that a gay athlete (male athlete) won't be viewed as "weird" or a "package gazer" or any other homophobic word you want to describe him...especially by his teammates in the NBA or NFL. I could be wrong but I just don't think most players think past a persons sexual preference... Which is probably a view shared by gay players or more would come out... Which begs the question; how many gay athletes are there? Since the answer is very low imo- this makes it an issue to be set-aside. Coaches are more worried about an athlete being focused on his position and duties than if they'll accept a gay teammate... That said, I wouldn't be surprised if an affirmative action committee had the question mandatory if an athlete would accept and respect a gay teammate... and I'd applaud that question.
I have no doubt about a gay persons courage, or conviction with their preference, their restraint with temptation, or their fortitude in the sport they love to play. I'd have no problem with my son (God forbid) being in a fox-hole in a war- relying on his buddy that's gay, to support him in combat or have his life in his hands as much as I would a straight person, not to mention if his teammate were gay..... This somehow doesn't ring true with the male bravado in a locker room. It's a perspective, and question, that everyone should look at on this topic... will this person give the hard foul , or box out, or intimidate our opponent , when that's what is needed to win a game? .....Of course he will. It's his job and his livelihood for heck sakes... but you can't get around the unsavory locker room- changing infront of a gay player after a shower, or taking a shower with a gay guy for that matter if that's how the showers are setup. Is this homophobic? Hell yes it is. Who cares if a dudes gay and glimpses your package. It's not like he's going to proposition you on the spot! Just like any guy wouldn't proposition an attractive female in his work place- that would be career suicide- even if you know she'd say yes it wouldn't be smart... No difference with a gay player. There would be exceptions but they would be learned from and very few problems.
Let's look at this from a parents perspective as well to further the dilemma for society to accept homosexuality. Most parents want biological grandchildren. If that's the case, which you know as well as I do it is, then they discourage their kids to be gay... How do they do this you ask? Subtly. In words that are manipulative like "I'm looking forward to you having children and me being a grandparent."... and there's nothing wrong with that! People would argue that it is natural to want to be a grandparent and would prefer biological grandkids. Other ppl (hopefully the minority) show so much homophobia to their kids that any gay son or daughter is petrified of coming out. Most wise parents would accept and love his kid the same if he or she came out but they wouldn't condone the lifestyle before they came out for reasons just given. They may not even condone the lifestyle after she or he came out like my sons stepdad doesn't condone his daughters lifestyle after she came out, but he loves her the same. I'd do the same if my kid were gay. Am I homophobic? No. But I want grandkids, which is the ideal of most people imo. If that ideal is selfish at the expense of a persons happiness then it's not an ideal any longer. It's selfish. I won't mention that a gay lifestyle makes it harder for a person to have the full benefits of a married heterosexual couple, financially and in other areas.... even if the gay couple are happily in love....which is a whole different ball-park and topic -love varies from couple to couple, gay or straight, regardless of preference... but, a parent wants things easier for his child in every aspect. Nuff said on that!! lol
Then there's the obstacle of the pious that say a gay or lesbian lifestyle is a life filled with sin and essentially against Gods plan and written word... feel free to tell me to shut up on my views on that ...but I will say I won't judge or throw the first stone because, like you, I fall short with what I feel is ideal behavior almost every day.. I just don't try to dwell on shortcomings- whether they be lifestyle in nature of otherwise... Does society or players have the same view? Fundamentals aren't compromised if they don't. It's personal, very personal, but brings back the pertinent question; can we get there? especially when a person doesn't want to offend someones homosexuality or superimpose their religious beliefs on someone that just wants to be happy and live their lives as they wish... We supposedly live in a country where church and state are separate, yet, in God we trust! ....and so it goes..
I'm not an expert here but it's obvious to me there are too many obstacles for a player to someday hope he'll be accepted by most of his teammates as the same as a straight player. Those teammates were taught by their parents, probably their religion (which values haven't changed much since their conception except for small branch-off minorities), and they've been taught by the male-ego-testosterone-driven misperception that a gay guy isn't going to battle on the floor, or field, as hard as a straight guy would battle...Not to mention he'll be gawked-at in the buff.. Other than the later two, with seeing a rise in openly gay players excelling in his sport will this issue slowly show "how we will get there" on the floor or field, but I doubt we'll ever fully "get there" as a society.

p.s. I have a few gay friends and a few lesbian friends that I admire for their integrity as much as I admire some straight friends. As a fan I'd love to root for an openly gay player because I know they're the same as you or I.... People just living their lives and following their hearts. Whether you pitch or catch isn't an inflammatory statement. What's inflammatory is when you can't catch a pitch from a teammate... but that's a whole different sport no one cares about since it deals with runs and foulballs and such.