OMG!!! The Hysterical Overreaction Thread!!

It's the end of the team! It's a guaranteed championship!! It's batshit insane overreaction to minimal datasets! Conclusions drawn from two-game streaks!! Dramatic extrapolations from a single quarter of play!!

Yes, folks, this is long overdue. I've noticed this year that I've pretty much run the gamut...from the player-by-player analysis of the Jazz' offseason moves that had me figuring the Jazz for top 3 in the West to a more recent dismissal of the likelihood of the Jazz even staying in Salt Lake beyond next year.

And then I remembered I do this every freakin' year. And other people do it too! Despite the presence of depressingly level-headed people like...umm...well, I'm pretty sure there are some people who regularly proffer such irritatingly logical advice as 'Give it time.' and 'It's only one game.', and despite their mitigating presence, we need to be able to take our illogical overreactions, wildly irrational elations and serotonin-deprived post-loss analyses and put them all in one place.

Hence this thread.

I will try to go back and reconstruct some of the wilder overoptimistic predictions FOR and depressive dismissals OF this years' team a little later.

But seriously, the Jazz suck.

Oh yeah, they suck. It's totally over. Blow the damn team up, there's no hope!

See, long about 12/12/12 (Stockton Day, as it were), when the Jazz beat the Spurs to go to 13-10...which isn't great shakes, but...it was gonna be the start of the team getting it together, knocking down threes and dominating inside and swattin' shots all over the place on D...sky's the limit!!

(I actually thought about making a hysterical overreaction thread THEN...)

Since then...1-4 and not even a good-lookin' 1-4, if there is such a thing. No, this is the real Jazz. Directionless, and instead of having a solid 10-man core with 2 or 3 guys playing excellent each game, the roster is questionable from top to bottom and we can count on 2 or 3 players that we NEED to play well coming out and playing poorly every game.

No, it's all over. They suck. 38-44 at best and another lottery pick.

Yay.

Trollificus wrote:

'Give it time.' and 'It's only one game.'

Give it time. It's only one game.

If you look at the Jazz schedule and break down game by game, should they win in Indiana, should they win in Miami, should they beat Sacramento in ESA, the results aren't too far from what you would expect and losing by 2 or 20 doesn't matter at the end of the year.
That said, this team won't get the Jazz to the next level, and some things that need to be done aren't getting done for the future of this team. Kanter, Favors and especially Burks aren't being developed the way they should, and you can't tell me that you would have to lose games to develop these guys. I don't believe that for a minute.
A trade or trades need to be made to bring an elite player to the team, not just a like for like but truly a good point guard or small forward. Millsap won't have any trade value soon, I'm not sure how much Mo' or Marvin ever had and Big Al could stay here in the future if he could be had for about $11 mil a year and no more. GS's pick and our own could help in combination with our players. The team is still in great shape but there are some things that definately need to happen and I'm not seeing a lot being done now.

With Mo out, it's time for Burks to get minutes as pg. Burks can attack like no-one and could be an All-Star next yr. Burks is the answer folks. Corbin needs to sacrifice a few wins for his pg experience then Burks will know whom to pass too, when to drive, he'll suddenly hit his threes, and become an effective facilitator. The skys the limit with Burks. Burks, Burks, Burks, he's our man, if he can't do it, Tinsley can.

aliveandkickin wrote:

With Mo out, it's time for Burks to get minutes as pg. Burks can attack like no-one and could be an All-Star next yr. Burks is the answer folks. Corbin needs to sacrifice a few wins for his pg experience then Burks will know whom to pass too, when to drive, he'll suddenly hit his threes, and become an effective facilitator. The skys the limit with Burks. Burks, Burks, Burks, he's our man, if he can't do it, Tinsley can.

I just dont see Burks as a PG, at all. And this team is built for the most part on pass first PG's, which is the last of Burks stills.
I still like him getting minutes, but at PG, I just dont like it.

Ditto, was being sarcastic, but still would like him to get some minutes. I have a sneaky feeling Tinsley will get the job done and keep the Jazz above .500.... but that's not inline with the thread, so, I have an over-whelming feeling Tinsley will go off and average close to 15/10/2st/2threes a game while Mo is out... Hey, it could happen.

aliveandkickin wrote:

Ditto, was being sarcastic, but still would like him to get some minutes. I have a sneaky feeling Tinsley will get the job done and keep the Jazz above .500.... but that's not inline with the thread, so, I have an over-whelming feeling Tinsley will go off and average close to 15/10/2st/2threes a game while Mo is out... Hey, it could happen.

Hmmmm, interesting, a prediction. And I figured you were, but it wasn't crazy putting him at the 1.

I think Tinsley's going to be ok, but I dont think his age/body will be able to keep it up. Early on, I see him averaging 9pts/9ast/1stl/1 three, which will be fine. But if it's for two months, I think he slows down; body just isn't used to it. Others will pick up their scoring. I think Ty will also see this as an opportunity to get Burks 20mins. His scoring will fill Mo's scoring void. Going to be fun, even if it doesn't translate to wins.

Somebody post "Hey, it's only one game." again, please!!

Trollificus wrote:

"Hey, it's only one game."

Hey, it's only one game. One awful, horrible, depressing, pathetic, nauseating farce of a...game.

Mo going down was icing on the cake. This team is pathetically mediocre. KOC-Lindsey need to spend a lot of time meditating on the miniature golf course to figure out a fix. Honestly, at this point, I don't even care if they choose outside or inside....just get to a damn put put already.

Oh wait, that's actually an Aztec sunstone having nothing at all to do with dates, apocalypses, or predictions (it does, however, call the Pat +5 against the Niners in the SuperBowl.)

I address the "We'll be okay with an old, incompetent, non-shooting PG, right? I mean, we've got TWO OF THEM, RIGHT?" Theory:

Quote :

Subject: Game 1 of the 1+1=0 Experiment Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:31 pm Reply with quote Edit/Delete this post
So...do TWO old, skill-deficient, non-shooting backup PGs equal one starting PG??

The first 48 minutes, while not providing a data set sufficiently large as to be conclusive, are not encouraging:

48 minutes
FG: 0-5
FT: a perfect 0-0
PTS: 0
Reb: 5!
ASST: 7
TO: also 7. Ouch.
STL: 1 (one)
BLK: 0 (out of the team total of 2)
PF: 6

In order for the Jamearl Watsley hybrid beast to have overcome that offensive performance on the other end, they'd have had to hold their opposite number to something like -5 points, and that didn't happen.

On the bright side, hey! it can't get worse, amirite?

And TheMagnus deals with the vets:

Quote :

Al and Paul seemed to come ready to play, but Marvin, Randy, Jamaal, and Earl were just plain awful. Those 4 played a combined 91 minutes, shot 4 for 21, pulled down 8 rebounds, dished 9 assists, snatched 1 steal, and accounted for 9 of the Jazz 14 turnovers on the night. To get that kind of effort from your vets playing a home game after a long break is simply inexcuseable.

On top of that, the Warriors played a zone most of the night, and our two best shooters and two PG's, who should have had a heyday, completely crapped the bed.

That is what pissed me off so bad last night, those clowns played 91 MINUTES!!! I'm not a big Corbin critic, I think overall he's been ok, but if I was the GM I would have a few choice words for him after this one, because that was one of the worst coached games I have ever seen.

Figured we could just pile all this end o' the world stuff in one post, saving room for more doomsday results later tonight...we win a couple in a row an I'm gonna be all "Championship City, here we come!!"

thejazzkickazz wrote:

Trollificus wrote:

"Hey, it's only one game."

Hey, it's only one game. One awful, horrible, depressing, pathetic, nauseating farce of a...game.

Somehow, that wasn't as...theraputic as I'd hoped.

"After last night's game, it might be time for the Miller family to consider folding the franchise. Don't sell it, just fold it."~thejazzkickazz

So far, the absolute winner for this thread, and it was posted in another thread.

But really, given the circumstances, the potential meaning of this horrific point-a-minute loss to Houston (a team we NEED to be better than!), and the terrible, terrible timing...I can absolutely understand where he's coming from.

I KNEW I should have posted a "Yahoo! Playoffs here we come!" post after that freaking HEROIC victory over a very talented and game Pacers team the other night.

Trollificus wrote:

"After last night's game, it might be time for the Miller family to consider folding the franchise. Don't sell it, just fold it."~thejazzkickazz

So far, the absolute winner for this thread, and it was posted in another thread.

But really, given the circumstances, the potential meaning of this horrific point-a-minute loss to Houston (a team we NEED to be better than!), and the terrible, terrible timing...I can absolutely understand where he's coming from.

I KNEW I should have posted a "Yahoo! Playoffs here we come!" post after that freaking HEROIC victory over a very talented and game Pacers team the other night.

Thank you for moving that here. I was a few words into typing that comment in the "Lakers/Houston" thread when I did think about the "Hysterical" thread. I thought about stopping in my tracks and beginning again in the other thread, but then I considered the amount of effort that such an endeavor might entail, and realized that I just had to finish what I had started there.

By the way, if the Millers do decide to fold the franchise, we'll have to think about something other than the Jazz to be the focus of our discussions. I'm thinking bread and pastry baking, but that's only my vote. And I'll need a change of username, perhaps "thepumpernickelkicksazz"?

thejazzkickazz wrote:

Trollificus wrote:

"After last night's game, it might be time for the Miller family to consider folding the franchise. Don't sell it, just fold it."~thejazzkickazz

So far, the absolute winner for this thread, and it was posted in another thread.

But really, given the circumstances, the potential meaning of this horrific point-a-minute loss to Houston (a team we NEED to be better than!), and the terrible, terrible timing...I can absolutely understand where he's coming from.

I KNEW I should have posted a "Yahoo! Playoffs here we come!" post after that freaking HEROIC victory over a very talented and game Pacers team the other night.

Thank you for moving that here. I was a few words into typing that comment in the "Lakers/Houston" thread when I did think about the "Hysterical" thread. I thought about stopping in my tracks and beginning again in the other thread, but then I considered the amount of effort that such an endeavor might entail, and realized that I just had to finish what I had started there.

By the way, if the Millers do decide to fold the franchise, we'll have to think about something other than the Jazz to be the focus of our discussions. I'm thinking bread and pastry baking, but that's only my vote. And I'll need a change of username, perhaps "thepumpernickelkicksazz"?

That was a horrific lose, that simply can't be tolerated, but it is only one game.

At this point, I don't think it matters if we make the playoffs or not, because there isn't on team in the playoff picture, that we could beat in a 7 game series. That was fine last season, because not one person expected us to even make the playoffs, This season has been a combo of bad coaching and picking up average talent.

It's time to blow it up and rebuild again, This team isn't being built correctly, even though most of us thought they were doing it right.

There isn't a guy on this team that is an all star or even a future all star, and that includes Hayward, Favors and Kanter! They are all good role players, but nothing more. You can't win with a team full of role players.

[quote="Romoholic"]There isn't a guy on this team that is an all star or even a future all star, and that includes Hayward, Favors and Kanter! They are all good role players, but nothing more. You can't win with a team full of role players.

WOW! Srry ROMO but i think your crystal ball is broke? I would bet in five years at least one of those jazz player will be a allstar. I know your mad but i feel good about saying one of those guys will be a Allstar.Take time and all are very young. Dont get to down.

[quote="Richardale"]

Romoholic wrote:

There isn't a guy on this team that is an all star or even a future all star, and that includes Hayward, Favors and Kanter! They are all good role players, but nothing more. You can't win with a team full of role players.

WOW! Srry ROMO but i think your crystal ball is broke? I would bet in five years at least one of those jazz player will be a allstar. I know your mad but i feel good about saying one of those guys will be a Allstar.Take time and all are very young. Dont get to down.

Took Stockton 5 years karl only 3 year to make there first allstar games. Karl went on to have 14 and john was i think 10? Most of which i think coaches voting him onto teams.

[quote="Richardale"]

Richardale wrote:

Romoholic wrote:

There isn't a guy on this team that is an all star or even a future all star, and that includes Hayward, Favors and Kanter! They are all good role players, but nothing more. You can't win with a team full of role players.

WOW! Srry ROMO but i think your crystal ball is broke? I would bet in five years at least one of those jazz player will be a allstar. I know your mad but i feel good about saying one of those guys will be a Allstar.Take time and all are very young. Dont get to down.

Took Stockton 5 years karl only 3 year to make there first allstar games. Karl went on to have 14 and john was i think 10? Most of which i think coaches voting him onto teams.

If you are a betting man, I would be willing to put up $100 bucks on my opinion that there are no future all stars on the team. I would be happy to lose though.

The main thing for me is, Favors isn't developing, Kanter can't develop, because Corbin won't play him and Hayward is just not an all star type of player. He is a system guy and can't really create his own shot very well.

Yeah you are right too, I'm mad, Mad that this team is being driving to mediocrity, because Greg made a bad decision on the head coaching hire and the Jazz don't fire coaches, So it is what it is for a long while. I'm also mad that we all had such high hopes for this season, and it's turning into crap right before our eyes!

[quote="Romoholic"]

Richardale wrote:

Richardale wrote:

Romoholic wrote:

There isn't a guy on this team that is an all star or even a future all star, and that includes Hayward, Favors and Kanter! They are all good role players, but nothing more. You can't win with a team full of role players.

WOW! Srry ROMO but i think your crystal ball is broke? I would bet in five years at least one of those jazz player will be a allstar. I know your mad but i feel good about saying one of those guys will be a Allstar.Take time and all are very young. Dont get to down.

Took Stockton 5 years karl only 3 year to make there first allstar games. Karl went on to have 14 and john was i think 10? Most of which i think coaches voting him onto teams.

If you are a betting man, I would be willing to put up $100 bucks on my opinion that there are no future all stars on the team. I would be happy to lose though.

The main thing for me is, Favors isn't developing, Kanter can't develop, because Corbin won't play him and Hayward is just not an all star type of player. He is a system guy and can't really create his own shot very well.

Yeah you are right too, I'm mad, Mad that this team is being driving to mediocrity, because Greg made a bad decision on the head coaching hire and the Jazz don't fire coaches, So it is what it is for a long while. I'm also mad that we all had such high hopes for this season, and it's turning into crap right before our eyes!

Romo, I see where you're coming from with your All Star evaluations. I'm not as sure you that there won't be an All-Star game appearence somewhere in there though. The thing, more than talent, that leads me to believe that none of them will get an All-Star nod, is the fact that even if they deserve it, the chances of actually getting on the team are slim. Afterall, if Millsap never has made it, and Al (who has the word "center" next to his name) can't make it, then what hope do other Jazz players have? Hell, even Deron, who was always looked at as a top 5 PG took a few years. The starters being picked by fans is a joke & a pure popularity contest, but even the coaches seem to be floating in that direction; taking guys on better teams, bigger markets, and guys with seniority, over other truly deserving players in many situations.

[quote="zero24gravity"]

Romoholic wrote:

Richardale wrote:

Richardale wrote:

Romoholic wrote:

There isn't a guy on this team that is an all star or even a future all star, and that includes Hayward, Favors and Kanter! They are all good role players, but nothing more. You can't win with a team full of role players.

WOW! Srry ROMO but i think your crystal ball is broke? I would bet in five years at least one of those jazz player will be a allstar. I know your mad but i feel good about saying one of those guys will be a Allstar.Take time and all are very young. Dont get to down.

Took Stockton 5 years karl only 3 year to make there first allstar games. Karl went on to have 14 and john was i think 10? Most of which i think coaches voting him onto teams.

If you are a betting man, I would be willing to put up $100 bucks on my opinion that there are no future all stars on the team. I would be happy to lose though.

The main thing for me is, Favors isn't developing, Kanter can't develop, because Corbin won't play him and Hayward is just not an all star type of player. He is a system guy and can't really create his own shot very well.

Yeah you are right too, I'm mad, Mad that this team is being driving to mediocrity, because Greg made a bad decision on the head coaching hire and the Jazz don't fire coaches, So it is what it is for a long while. I'm also mad that we all had such high hopes for this season, and it's turning into crap right before our eyes!

Romo, I see where you're coming from with your All Star evaluations. I'm not as sure you that there won't be an All-Star game appearence somewhere in there though. The thing, more than talent, that leads me to believe that none of them will get an All-Star nod, is the fact that even if they deserve it, the chances of actually getting on the team are slim. Afterall, if Millsap never has made it, and Al (who has the word "center" next to his name) can't make it, then what hope do other Jazz players have? Hell, even Deron, who was always looked at as a top 5 PG took a few years. The starters being picked by fans is a joke & a pure popularity contest, but even the coaches seem to be floating in that direction; taking guys on better teams, bigger markets, and guys with seniority, over other truly deserving players in many situations.

I've had a couple of days to calm down from the Houston lose. While I doubt we have any all stars, the closest guy I think will be Hayward. He is the only guy that seems to have the killer instinct. I think if Al were gone you would see Gordo take a bigger role on the team and I could see his scoring go up to over 20 ppg.

Put his defense along with 20 ppg and that is an all star. The one thing is he has to limit the stupid turnovers that he gets. Most of those are him trying to handle the ball and losing control of it. He just doesn't have the ball handling skills. He is one of the main guys on the Jazz that really seem to need a quality pg to get the most out of his offensive game.

I know it's been talked about a lot, but Corbin just flat out isn't doing a good job! There aren't many guys that are successful in their first head coaching job, It wasn't a good hire in the first place. They needed a experienced head coach to develop all the young guys on the team and went the complete opposite way.

You have a team full of young guys that need a strong coach that knows how to handle them and Corbin isn't it. If the Jazz miss the playoffs with all the moves they made this off season, then Corbin needs to go, and a proven coach brought in.

Also the Jazz seem to be pinning there hopes on attracting FAs this off season. What are the chances of getting quality FAs in here with a below average coach. Corbin is getting a bad rep from players, if it's deserved or not doesn't really matter, it's perception that matters.

It doesn't really matter what moves the Jazz make or intend to make, as long as they have a lame duck head coach. I hate saying all this, because I really like Corbin. He was one of my favorite Jazz players back in the day, but we can't be successful with him running the show.

There is a prime chance right now of making noise in the west. The Lakers are down and the top teams aren't really that impressive, outside of OKC. You have a lot of young teams, and the west is at a cross roads of which teams are going to be the top contenders for the next 5-8 years. The Jazz are falling behind or spinning their wheels, while other young teams are making their moves.

Woo-hoo!! Jazz championship within 3 years. That ass-kicking shows us the future of The Jazz Dynasty!

We re-sign Millsap, to go with Kanters' 20/14 and Favors' 14/14/4, and a couple of other fill-in 7 footers.

We sign Vasquez and re-sign Mo and Foye.

We sign a coach.

We sign a slasher/gunner wing. OR another 3-pt shooter, maybe Korver? Anyway, just some 'instant offense' off the bench.

We use the cap space to extend the Core FIVE (Hayward/Favors/Kanter/Burks AND DC!!!)

And the last step on the road to a 74-8 season and a championship? We get the league to let us play the Charlotte Opponents, or the Charlotte Generals, or the Charlotte Haplesses or whatever we want to call them-maybe something different for all 82 games, eh? The Roadkill, the Slobcats, the Losers, the Tienamen Square Guys, the Jamarcus Russells...

Hah, thats a sweet tag line at the bottom there Troll.......one of my more bullseye moments....


Good point though in there, about using all this money to extend our core guys going forward too though....something to think about.

It's all over.

On a night when the Jazz lost their fifth in six tries, all winnable, a game they pretty much HAD IN HAND, a game they pretty much choked away to an inferior team...the Laker, the effing LAKERS, outscored THEIR opponent 33-9 in the fourth quarter for a heroic, confidence-building victory.

Jazz suck. They're a bunch of lousy chokers with no business being in the playoffs. Not heroes like the Lakers. Not a proud dynasty (like the Lakers). Just a bunch of losers. UGH!

*wanders off muttering "Cleveland. CLEVELAND. You let CJ Miles kick. your. ass. Cleveland, for shit sake..."*