OMG!!! The Hysterical Overreaction Thread!!

Trollificus wrote:

It's all over.

On a night when the Jazz lost their fifth in six tries, all winnable, a game they pretty much HAD IN HAND, a game they pretty much choked away to an inferior team...the Laker, the effing LAKERS, outscored THEIR opponent 33-9 in the fourth quarter for a heroic, confidence-building victory.

Jazz suck. They're a bunch of lousy chokers with no business being in the playoffs. Not heroes like the Lakers. Not a proud dynasty (like the Lakers). Just a bunch of losers. UGH!

*wanders off muttering "Cleveland. CLEVELAND. You let CJ Miles kick. your. ass. Cleveland, for shit sake..."*

The good news is, as soon as CJ's current contract is up, the Jazz will offer him a multi-year deal.
I know the Jazz never ever ever EVER bring back former Jazz players after they have been traded away or left during free agency, but I have a good feeling about this one. I can't wait to see a 40 year old Chucker Miles.

Trollificus wrote:

It's all over.

On a night when the Jazz lost their fifth in six tries, all winnable, a game they pretty much HAD IN HAND, a game they pretty much choked away to an inferior team...the Laker, the effing LAKERS, outscored THEIR opponent 33-9 in the fourth quarter for a heroic, confidence-building victory.

Jazz suck. They're a bunch of lousy chokers with no business being in the playoffs. Not heroes like the Lakers. Not a proud dynasty (like the Lakers). Just a bunch of losers. UGH!

*wanders off muttering "Cleveland. CLEVELAND. You let CJ Miles kick. your. ass. Cleveland, for shit sake..."*

OH, a new Laker fan jump on the bandwagon before everyone else does and you can say that you started watching that team play before the bandwagon got going.

The Voice of Reason wrote:

Trollificus wrote:

It's all over.

On a night when the Jazz lost their fifth in six tries, all winnable, a game they pretty much HAD IN HAND, a game they pretty much choked away to an inferior team...the Laker, the effing LAKERS, outscored THEIR opponent 33-9 in the fourth quarter for a heroic, confidence-building victory.

Jazz suck. They're a bunch of lousy chokers with no business being in the playoffs. Not heroes like the Lakers. Not a proud dynasty (like the Lakers). Just a bunch of losers. UGH!

*wanders off muttering "Cleveland. CLEVELAND. You let CJ Miles kick. your. ass. Cleveland, for shit sake..."*

The good news is, as soon as CJ's current contract is up, the Jazz will offer him a multi-year deal.
I know the Jazz never ever ever EVER bring back former Jazz players after they have been traded away or left during free agency, but I have a good feeling about this one. I can't wait to see a 40 year old Chucker Miles.

Sad but true, on the season CJ is playing pretty much on the same level as Foye for $250K less, which I don't think is worth 3% better on 3-balls and 2% less on field goals:

CJ 21.3 mpg, 0.417 FG, 0.382 3-Pt, 11.2 ppg, $2.25MM per for 2 years
Foye 27.5 mpg, 0.397 FG, 0.410 3-PT, 11.3 ppg, $2.5MM 1 year

This thread has gotten seriously untracked. Talking about CJ when we should be hysterically overreacting. Come on, people, we're better than that!

I'll get us back on track...

57 point loss to the Knicks??? That's unconscionable!!!
Fire Corbin!!! Hire (insert unemployed coach name here)!!!! Demote Kevin Murphy!!! Change the name of the arena to "Lethargy Non-Solutions Arena"!!! Stop serving sushi to our apathetic fans!!! Make those scraggly Jazz players shave their beards (or, in some cases, tufts)!!! Support local artists and independent films!!! Lobby David Stern to extend the trade deadline so we can unload Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap so that we can get something of value for them before they just walk!!! Start DeMarre Carroll at all five positions!!! Do everything possible to acquire Jonas Valuncionas during the off-season!!!!111

Oh wow, I need a breather. That took some energy. I'll let Troll carry the load from here.

thejazzkickazz wrote:

This thread has gotten seriously untracked. Talking about CJ when we should be hysterically overreacting. Come on, people, we're better than that!

I'll get us back on track...

57 point loss to the Knicks??? That's unconscionable!!!
Fire Corbin!!! Hire (insert unemployed coach name here)!!!! Demote Kevin Murphy!!! Change the name of the arena to "Lethargy Non-Solutions Arena"!!! Stop serving sushi to our apathetic fans!!! Make those scraggly Jazz players shave their beards (or, in some cases, tufts)!!! Support local artists and independent films!!! Lobby David Stern to extend the trade deadline so we can unload Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap so that we can get something of value for them before they just walk!!! Start DeMarre Carroll at all five positions!!! Do everything possible to acquire Jonas Valuncionas during the off-season!!!!111

Oh wow, I need a breather. That took some energy. I'll let Troll carry the load from here.

Haha, great stuff JKA, you hit all the high points. Needed that.

PS: love that idea starting DC at all 5 pos.

Mutangclan wrote:

thejazzkickazz wrote:

This thread has gotten seriously untracked. Talking about CJ when we should be hysterically overreacting. Come on, people, we're better than that!

I'll get us back on track...

57 point loss to the Knicks??? That's unconscionable!!!
Fire Corbin!!! Hire (insert unemployed coach name here)!!!! Demote Kevin Murphy!!! Change the name of the arena to "Lethargy Non-Solutions Arena"!!! Stop serving sushi to our apathetic fans!!! Make those scraggly Jazz players shave their beards (or, in some cases, tufts)!!! Support local artists and independent films!!! Lobby David Stern to extend the trade deadline so we can unload Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap so that we can get something of value for them before they just walk!!! Start DeMarre Carroll at all five positions!!! Do everything possible to acquire Jonas Valuncionas during the off-season!!!!111

Oh wow, I need a breather. That took some energy. I'll let Troll carry the load from here.

Haha, great stuff JKA, you hit all the high points. Needed that.

PS: love that idea starting DC at all 5 pos.

A sober and well reasoned analysis. All very true.

We're still in this!!!! The Lakers lost to Atlanta tonight!!!! OKC isn't that good, our guys just had a rare off night against Houston, NY and OKC!!!! Fire Corbin now!!! You can see the fire in our guys!!! They can beat anyone on any given night!!!!

Oh wait, I thought this was the "Hysterical Optimist Thread"

MTJazz wrote:

We're still in this!!!! The Lakers lost to Atlanta tonight!!!! OKC isn't that good, our guys just had a rare off night against Houston, NY and OKC!!!! Fire Corbin now!!! You can see the fire in our guys!!! They can beat anyone on any given night!!!!

Oh wait, I thought this was the "Hysterical Optimist Thread"

Did ty call time out and get on anyone arse and light a fire under anybodies butts? Are we missing our coach when calls are heading one way? Ok CJ i know i #itch about refs but jerry called them out when needed so where the hell has our head coach gone? Still hiding in the locker room? sometimes we need our leader to stand up to crap calls and be a head coach! Its part of the job when chit goes south be a freaking man.

I'm really hoping we do not screw things up and slip into the playoffs this year. And i hate the lakers but we're playing like we have no hope in the playoffs this year. I want the highest pick we can get. Time to pull a GSW dive?

Richardale wrote:

I'm really hoping we do not screw things up and slip into the playoffs this year. And i hate the lakers but we're playing like we have no hope in the playoffs this year. I want the highest pick we can get. Time to pull a GSW dive?

Not really much point in that. The best we could really do is probably the 12th pick, we are 8 games ahead of the 11th worst team (Toronto) right now, even an epic tank fest isn't going to close that gap with only 17 games left.

If we make the playoffs we likely still end up picking 15th or 16th, if we miss them we end up 14th or 13th, not really a big difference there.

None of the previous three posts in this thread are hysterical, nor are they overreactions. I am here to protect the sanctity of this thread. It is for hysterical overreactions, not sober, valid reflections on the Jazz's recent dismal performance. I'm concerned for myself that I am the seeming arbiter around here of what is hysterical, but someone has to take up the mantle of responsibility. I beseech each and every one of you to endeavor to improve your performances in this thread. Thank you.

-- The Management

thejazzkickazz wrote:

None of the previous three posts in this thread are hysterical, nor are they overreactions. I am here to protect the sanctity of this thread. It is for hysterical overreactions, not sober, valid reflections on the Jazz's recent dismal performance. I'm concerned for myself that I am the seeming arbiter around here of what is hysterical, but someone has to take up the mantle of responsibility. I beseech each and every one of you to endeavor to improve your performances in this thread. Thank you.

-- The Management

Thank you, jka. Now, to demonstrate how it ought to be done...

OMFG!!!! WTF?????? THAT WAS THE LOUSIEST, GUTLESSEST, CRAPPIEST EXCUSE FOR A PROFESSIONAL EFFORT IN THE HISTORY OF EVAR DAMMIT, THESE GUYS JUST WANT TO COLLECT THEIR PAYCHECKS AND GO IMPREGNATE SOME GROUPIES!!! A MEDIOCRE EASTERN CONFERENCE TEAM ONLY MISSING THEIR TWO THREE BEST PLAYERS, AT HOME, IN A MUST-FREAKIN'-WIN GAME. AND THE TEAM YOU HAVE TO BEAT HAS ALREADY LOST...AND THAT'S THE EFFORT THEY PUT OUT?????

PLENTY OF FAIL TO GO AROUND IN THIS ONE. NO CLUTCH SHOOTING, NO OFFENSIVE GAME PLAN TO SPEAK OF, NO DC, GUT CHECK TIME FOR FAVORS? OH, LET'S SEE...NOPE, NO GUTS. MILLSAP? I HOPE YOU HAD MONEY ON THE F'ING GAME BECAUSE THAT WAS NOT THE EFFORT OF AN EIGHT FIGURE PLAYER. JEFFERSON? SUCKS. FOYE, SUCKS. HAYWARD...DIDN'T SUCK BUT ALSO ALLOWED OTHERS TO SUBSTITUTE THEIR SUCK EFFORT FOR HIS OH-SO-F'ING POLITE DEFERENTIAL PLAY.

GAH. IT'S OVER. I CAN'T EVEN ROOT FOR THESE CRAPTASTIC FAILURES ANYMORE. SHUT IT DOWN. DISSOLVE THE TEAM. NUKE THE ARENA. I QUIT.

(See? THAT'S how you hysterically overreact. Thing is, I'm not sure that isn't my actual reaction, I'm so bitterly disappointed.)

Well, looks like the Jazz officially suck.

This has to be Tinsleys fault right? Wasn't he in the malice at the palace a few yrs ago? I'm pretty sure his disruptive nature is causing the Jazz to turn into uncaring and selffish players. In fact, the camera went on the players during the end of the Knick home game and sure enough!! Tinsley is looking like he's ticked he's not playing again.

Now, just think if you're the player next to him and see his countenance. You're probably thinking beforehand that things will be ok, there's like 15 games left and were only one game behind the Lakers for the eigth spot... Then you look at Tinsley and know that it's not possible to overcome adversity. You may think back to the palace malice and think "I'm going to get into a fight" or something like that. Jamaal has been in the league a long time and if I'm going to prove that I care I may just have to start a fight in practice tomorrow to show my toughtitude.



This can seriously happen folks. Fire Tinsley and the Jazz come together to make the playoffs.

OMG! SUCH NEGATIVITY! THE JAZZ ARE RIGHT WHERE WE WANT TO BE. WE'RE ALMOST AN 8th SEED!!! For crying out loud, I can't BELIEVE the so-called "FANS" on this board!!!!! Never give up. TyCo is going over his stats sheets right this minute and realizes the problem is....CJ Foye is not getting enough shots. Trust in TyCo, he'll figure it out!!!! I wouldn't be surprised if the current strategy turns out to be deceiving Team Texas into thinking the Jazz suck, they can then wipe their complacent Texas azzes all over their home floors! Visualize that!!!!

Trollificus wrote:

thejazzkickazz wrote:

None of the previous three posts in this thread are hysterical, nor are they overreactions. I am here to protect the sanctity of this thread. It is for hysterical overreactions, not sober, valid reflections on the Jazz's recent dismal performance. I'm concerned for myself that I am the seeming arbiter around here of what is hysterical, but someone has to take up the mantle of responsibility. I beseech each and every one of you to endeavor to improve your performances in this thread. Thank you.

-- The Management

Thank you, jka. Now, to demonstrate how it ought to be done...

OMFG!!!! WTF?????? THAT WAS THE LOUSIEST, GUTLESSEST, CRAPPIEST EXCUSE FOR A PROFESSIONAL EFFORT IN THE HISTORY OF EVAR DAMMIT, THESE GUYS JUST WANT TO COLLECT THEIR PAYCHECKS AND GO IMPREGNATE SOME GROUPIES!!! A MEDIOCRE EASTERN CONFERENCE TEAM ONLY MISSING THEIR TWO THREE BEST PLAYERS, AT HOME, IN A MUST-FREAKIN'-WIN GAME. AND THE TEAM YOU HAVE TO BEAT HAS ALREADY LOST...AND THAT'S THE EFFORT THEY PUT OUT?????

PLENTY OF FAIL TO GO AROUND IN THIS ONE. NO CLUTCH SHOOTING, NO OFFENSIVE GAME PLAN TO SPEAK OF, NO DC, GUT CHECK TIME FOR FAVORS? OH, LET'S SEE...NOPE, NO GUTS. MILLSAP? I HOPE YOU HAD MONEY ON THE F'ING GAME BECAUSE THAT WAS NOT THE EFFORT OF AN EIGHT FIGURE PLAYER. JEFFERSON? SUCKS. FOYE, SUCKS. HAYWARD...DIDN'T SUCK BUT ALSO ALLOWED OTHERS TO SUBSTITUTE THEIR SUCK EFFORT FOR HIS OH-SO-F'ING POLITE DEFERENTIAL PLAY.

GAH. IT'S OVER. I CAN'T EVEN ROOT FOR THESE CRAPTASTIC FAILURES ANYMORE. SHUT IT DOWN. DISSOLVE THE TEAM. NUKE THE ARENA. I QUIT.

(See? THAT'S how you hysterically overreact. Thing is, I'm not sure that isn't my actual reaction, I'm so bitterly disappointed.)

You know it's bad when "The Hysterical Overreaction Thread!!" seems almost completely on point.

The problem is the "Overreaction" part of the criteria. While you may be hysterical, it's not really an overreaction that you run around screaming "we're all going to die!!!!!" If, in fact, everyone around you is dying.

Likewise, it's not really an overreaction to declare that the team needs to be gutted, everybody fired, and that it would be better for this team to fold the rest of the season than force us to watch another minute of this team defecating on themselves in slow motion, when what we are seeing is so horrifically awful.

TheMagnus wrote:

You know it's bad when "The Hysterical Overreaction Thread!!" seems almost completely on point.

The problem is the "Overreaction" part of the criteria. While you may be hysterical, it's not really an overreaction that you run around screaming "we're all going to die!!!!!" If, in fact, everyone around you is dying.

Likewise, it's not really an overreaction to declare that the team needs to be gutted, everybody fired, and that it would be better for this team to fold the rest of the season than force us to watch another minute of this team defecating on themselves in slow motion, when what we are seeing is so horrifically awful.

Hahaha totally Mag. You got yourself a vaunted rep point.....

And once again, I was thinking the same thing. How allllllllllll the things that have been talked about by most of us, are all and have come true, its too late to expect fixes, and the result of all this is that everyone around you is dying.
I stick to my guns though, Corbin ran this somewhat talented team into the ground, mentally and physically.

Bright spot: this all indicates a HUGE summer, with Al gone, good chance Corbin gone. This is leaving nothing to the imagination of what this team needs, and there really isn't and should we/shouldn't we type decisions to be made. Also is showing that as good as Paul/Fav/Kanter/GH are, this team still needs a stud added.

MTJazz wrote:

OMG! SUCH NEGATIVITY! THE JAZZ ARE RIGHT WHERE WE WANT TO BE. WE'RE ALMOST AN 8th SEED!!! For crying out loud, I can't BELIEVE the so-called "FANS" on this board!!!!! Never give up. TyCo (former Utah Jazz coach 2011-2013) is going over his stats sheets right this minute and realizes the problem is....CJ Foye is not getting enough shots. Trust in TyCo (former Utah Jazz coach 2011-2013), he'll figure it out!!!! I wouldn't be surprised if the current strategy turns out to be deceiving Team Texas into thinking the Jazz suck, they can then wipe their complacent Texas azzes all over their home floors! Visualize that!!!!

Jeez, MT, it's not the "Hysterical Over-sarcasm Thread"!!

But your silver lininging* is still pretty strong.

*-I like "lininging" almost as much as "gutlessnessest". Another silver lining! We are inspired to create new word to describe this clownshow. Like "I hope the front office doesn't kahn the draft."

TheMagnus wrote:

You know it's bad when "The Hysterical Overreaction Thread!!" seems almost completely on point.

The problem is the "Overreaction" part of the criteria. While you may be hysterical, it's not really an overreaction that you run around screaming "we're all going to die!!!!!" If, in fact, everyone around you is dying.

Likewise, it's not really an overreaction to declare that the team needs to be gutted, everybody fired, and that it would be better for this team to fold the rest of the season than force us to watch another minute of this team defecating on themselves in slow motion, when what we are seeing is so horrifically awful.

LOL Mag... that was rude... but completely on point

THE JAZZ ARE BACK! RANDY HIT OUTSIDE SHOTS!!!! It's ALL GOOD AGAIN and just in time to make a run at the 6th SEED! What a game! Jazz take down a seriously underrated, scrappy, tough, never give up Sixers squad and simply ANNIHILATED them! OMG, it left me breathless!!! CANNOT WAIT for the Jazz to run the table now that THEY ARE BACK, the dominating machine we've come to love all season. I'm going to draw hearts and happy faces ALL DAY LONG I am so stoked!

We are gonna make a run for the 6th seed in the playoffs after last night.
What a rejuvenated effort. This team is unbelievable.
I hope we sign Ty Co (former Utah Jazz coach 2011-2013) to a 4 year extension. Better do it NOW...no, they better have done it last night. Lock him up before anyone else does. I am sure Miami is going to fire Spoelstra right away, and they will scoop Ty Co (former Utah Jazz coach 2011-2013) up, no questions asked. Make it happen, Greg.

Championship this year, baby!!

Where the hell is dreamlander for this thread. Championship boys and girls!!!

Richardale wrote:

Where the hell is dreamlander for this thread. Championship boys and girls!!!

Dreamlander is currently working as Memo Okur's personal valet.

OMG! We beat the sh*t out of Philly! WE'RE GONNA WIN IT ALL!!!!!!!

Ty deserves Coach of the Year! RESIGN EVERY JAZZ PLAYER WITH A MAX CONTRACT-- TO H*LL WITH THE LUXURY TAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thejazzkickazz wrote:

Richardale wrote:

Where the hell is dreamlander for this thread. Championship boys and girls!!!

Dreamlander is currently working as Memo Okur's personal valet.

I think he got his sex change and is now trying to make his move on Memo. If we was to resign Memo this team would win it all hands down!!

Richardale wrote:

thejazzkickazz wrote:

Richardale wrote:

Where the hell is dreamlander for this thread. Championship boys and girls!!!

Dreamlander is currently working as Memo Okur's personal valet.

I think he got his sex change and is now trying to make his move on Memo. If we was to resign Memo this team would win it all hands down!!

lol @ the very mention of dreamlander! All we need to do is sign Hedo, Memo, Ilyasova and Asik and Jazz win championship easily!!! (actually, Kanter, Asik and Ilyasova would be a nice stable of bigs, wouldn't it?)